What is wellness?

As I approach my Monday doctor appointment, I have a lot of thoughts in my mind.

First one is that I will be streaming from the office tomorrow. I haven't felt too well today, so I hope it goes better than Friday, where I put my head on my desk and couldn't decide if I was hot or cold.

Next and all the rest is, what is wellness? People who know me in my day-to-day life would say I am one of the most mindful people that they know. I have a pretty good handle on who I am, the bad and the good, and on being present and grateful. What I don't have a handle on is personal wellness. Someone else always comes before me. I have been fine with that.

Except, now I am posed with yet another life question. I tell my kids, there is always a choice. There is always a fork in the road. No matter how my doctor's appointment goes, this is a fork in the road.

This is a ride or die moment of changing my patterns if I get the chance. There doesn't feel like there is a choice, except I worry that I am not capable of change. So here is my challenge to myself. No matter how my doctor's appointment goes, I am going to challenge myself to leap.

I have a friend who isn't working right now, and I could take some more time off of work. What if he and I hit the road for a few weeks? There are so many places that I want to see. I obviously can work remotely on the side hustles, and even the truck bookings if I wanted to (but I don't). Would you guys watch me stream on the road? Throw me some tokens for hotel rooms and diners along the way? Would you watch me stream with a completely platonic friend as we travel around? I feel like that would be wellness. Going outside of my comfort zone to treat myself to something special, something potentially life changing for me.

I have to do something positive with whatever the outcome is. I feel like if I am lucky enough to get a positive test result, I have to abandon the structure of my life, because if I am being honest, I don't really think my current life skills are making me healthy. If anything, they contribute to stress on my body and my mind. If I keep up this 80-hour work week, I would be throwing away a chance to change. I have to take the road less traveled for one. I have been on the same road for so long. It's time for a different one.