Truthfully, nothing ever really does. Plans are the worst kind of disappointment. Like, I had planned on streaming ALL day long yesterday, but I woke up to a text that my step mother had been taken by ambulance to the hospital very early yesterday morning. I didn't really feel like I could get online, cause I was waiting for some calls back and stuff.
My son's new phone was supposed to be delivered yesterday, so I stayed home to wait for it, cause...signature required. I swear to fluffing Christ, the UPS man did not even knock. He can go fuck himself, cause now I have to waste today waiting for it.
I was overall in a mood, so what did I do next? I invited taco tom over for some naked fun. That 100% didn't go as planned, and I lowkey feel sick over it. Actually feel sick over it. I have been awake since 5 a.m., and I want to punch walls. I was going to get online and stream, try to work it out, but...I couldn't even cum when he was here. Lord did I try. Epic fail. What does that even mean? It means that I should never have reached out.
I had set up this little role play. He even wore the coveralls and tool belt that I asked him to wear, but he did not follow any other instructions. I had this whole scenario in my mind, and he jacked it at every turn. For being the least alpha person I know, he sure fucked that up. Or maybe I fucked it up for having some expectation that we could just have a naughty romp. I don't do expectations, I don't know why I did last night. The expectation was only that we would have a fun time. It wasn't fun. It was awful. He now houses the top 2, and truthfully, only 2 spots in my life for WORST sexual encounter ever. I just wanted to do something different than the norm. Just wanted it to be light and easy. It was anything but that and now I feel sick over it. How fucking stupid, but true.
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