Tired doesn't really begin to describe it...

And there is no fun being had.

This was like the longest work weekend ever. And the car broke down. Let me rant about that for a minute.

The last time that a car that I owned broke down was 2003. My youngest son was like 4 months old and I went to the bank. I went back to my car with my little angel in his carrier and my car wouldn't start. It was my first brand new car, but it had like 200k miles on it. A honda civic. It had never not started or had issues.

I called my sister's boyfriend and asked him to come pick me up and take me to the dealership and I had the civic towed to the dealership. I bought a new car. Fixed and sold the old one. And went about my life. There was just something not o.k. to me about being broken down with my son. It seemed practical to me at the time.

My first car broke down all the time. Didn't bother me at all. But as an adult with a family, I didn't have time for those types of things. Just like now. I really don't have time for my car to be broke down. I am not going to buy a new car this time. I love my crv, but man, having a car towed on a Saturday morning, and then working 20 hours over the two days...not for me.

I still need to rent a car for the week. It pains me. My son graduates on Saturday and I literally have no idea what I am wearing. I have 5, 12 hours days I have to work before Saturday. I am so tired.

I also got some unexpected news that a girl who used to work for me, unexpectedly passed away on Friday night. For some reason....or not for some reason...for a very specific reason...this is really bothering me. I am the queen of the black heart. I understand the fact of life and death. This was just...a reminder that life is not promised. Friendships can only last as long as our physical self can last. Someday we all venture on to the next plane...some too soon. This girl was too soon. I am very bothered by this.

And off to work I go though. Off to work to earn. Into the world to fake living. Give me a break, we are all so stupid. One life. That is all we know we get until it ends and we see the next step, if there is one. We waste our lives. For what?

So yeah, no fun here. I would hop off the Jenni train sooner than later. It might get really depressing.