The beach...or not the beach

I don't feel like I can go. In an instant yesterday, I think I finally hit my wall. I think I hit the big brick wall that has been waiting for me for months now.

All it took was a slice in my tire to set everything into an ordeal. One little low pressure light coming on in the car, turned everything into the biggest deal ever. I had 9 hours of free time to catch up on all the things that are behind in my life and I lost them all when that light came on.

One little issue with that...this fucking car...is a lease, and the mother fucking tires have to match if I turn it in. And I don't know if I am turning it in yet. Because I want to buy a house, not buy a car I never wanted to begin with. Supply chain, inventory, bullshit = no tires to be found, which has parked my ass. No driving the car, to be safe from a blowout. I can't get the jack out of the hatch for IDK what reason to change the tire. Neither can my son. Cause apparently we suck, or I am fried and can't focus.

A whole days worth of errands trashed. Work is piling up. I finally, hours into this project found the tires, but not until 4 p.m. today. I have a 500 person event tonight. My mother cried when I told her I was not able to get to her house. My children have been less than no help. And I have a trip to the beach planned for several days from now.

How can I go with things pilling up? If I leave for 4 days the piles only get bigger. And thanks to my banging instagram skills yesterday, before it all went to shit, I procured 4 more catering orders for the week after I get back, so there will be no rest for the wicked. If I don't go, I will snap. If I do go, I may snap. IDK what to do.