Still not playing well with others

But am going to have to give it my best shot for the festival weekend.

My mom had not 1, but two falls this week. Work is piling up. 1/3 of my festival staff for the weekend has COVID, and 2/5 of my Monday catering staff has COVID. Is there a word for this situation? Why yes, yes there is. Fucked! I am fucked. And what is really crazy is that I will still do it all, and hopefully won't let all go to shit. Cause I don't have a choice. This particular festival has the highest buy in fee, so the expectation to bring that and about 10x more is pretty heavy on me. The Monday catering is for the big university for 850 people, and they pre-paid *yuck*. Fucked.

So, when I arrive at the festival tomorrow and have to squat in the truck for 3 hours before it opens while I wait for permit inspections, I'm going to log on and be lame and cranky as fuck, and I am going to need you guys to pepper me with tokens. Why, may you ask? Because I have spent the last 2 hours searching for vacation destinations that leave as soon as Labor Day hits, and the only way I can do that, is by canceling some truck spots. I NEED to cancel some truck spots. I can't keep working like this. For what? I don't even know anymore. It's just food.

I have more responsibilities in my life right now than I have ever had. Even when my kids were little the responsibilities weren't this heavy. I feel like it hasn't really paid off for me that I have always been responsible and mildly successful. It feels like all it is doing now is costing me my mental health.

I have spent the last 10 days or so just being in a bad mood with a bad attitude and I really don't prefer that. I wake up every day and I preach to myself that I can have a better attitude. A better day. It hasn't been working. The question is: Can I wait until Labor Day to not snap? I'm burning bridges left and right this week. S.O.S.