How do I know this, you might ask? The pics came up in my amazon photos. LOL
Wanna read the story? It was a doozy.
He was the first guy I swiped right on. I had no idea what I was getting in to. He immediately messaged me back. Tall, handsome, lawyer. Young. He was my first young one. And only young one, other that Taco Tom.
He lived in a part of town that was being redeveloped, so it wasn't the nicest neighborhood. He told me that he had just moved in today and didn't have any furniture. I may have thought he was joking. But I was in a mood to make a bad decision. And I did. I went to his place. He met me outside, cause he was a 2nd floor walk up and I needed in. I was walking in front of him, and he had a black duffle bag he was carrying. He reminded me again, as I approached his door that he had just moved in and he didn't have any furniture.
It was at that moment that I thought " oh fuck, he could have Dexter supplies in the bag", but to be honest, I think I had a bit of a death wish at the point in my life. I gave zero fucks. I grabbed the door knob, opened the door, and there was literally NO furniture. There was beer on the counter and a laptop on the floor. We shot the shit for a few minutes. I drank a beer, and the next thing I knew I found my way into his bedroom with his inflatable mattress, and I was standing in front of an open window letting him undress me.
Oh did we have the sex. It was such good sex. Michelin rated sex.
I asked where the bathroom was, so I could pee when we were done, and he told me that he didn't have any toilet paper, and literally gave me a white button down dress shirt from the closet to wipe with. I declined. It was so weird.
So weird that of course I had to go back for a round 2 and 3 and 4 after that night. It was a lot of fun until the fateful day that his name appeared on the front page of the local metro section of the newspaper sharing the shocking story that his law license was being revoked for scamming clients. I cannot make this shit up.
He was a bankruptcy attorney, and he had been scamming people out of their filing fees and using the money to smoke meth. Un-fucking-believable. I actually sent him an email that day and he didn't even know he made the paper, and I was like...you're a fucking lawyer, how do you not have a google alert set up on your name? I did not have a google alert set up on his name, but I do read the local news.
I have never fucked with people that do drugs like that, and I was really blown away by the fact that I didn't see that coming. He seemed really together. Eventually did have furniture too, and toilet paper. He ended up moving back to the small town that he had grown up in and sorted out the legal issues. It ended up being like the first of many things that came to light about him.
All in all, no regrets. He was a good time, and it ended up being, obviously, a really good story.
The next guy I met on tinder, cried the first time he fucked me, after he came. Awkward. That is another story for another day. I sure can pick some weirdos. Maybe it is because I am a bit of a weirdo myself.
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