I'm here, but I might start fading away. I need to get back to work work. I have that option. I am not used to being sooooooo unproductive. I did a lot of that in Florida and then to come home to it also has possibly turned my brain into pudding.
I have kind of gotten into a system of streaming in the mornings, but to be honest, that really makes me lazy throughout the day. I am someone who needs somewhere to be. Setting a schedule to say, I am going to cam every morning from 8-10 a.m., is not the same thing to me, as needing somewhere to be. I am sure you guys want to see me online, but you don't need me to be there. I need to get back to a schedule that makes me accountable to someone beyond myself.
I abandoned Church with Jenni today, and I am actually sorry for that, but I am also not sorry. I spent the day with my kids, I finished a book that had been collecting dust on my dresser, and I took a bubble bath that didn't involve me setting up my cam to be watched while I did it.
I have a lot on my plate right now, for having so little on my plate. I am trying to figure out my new normal, just like everyone else, but at the same time, really wanting the old normal back, just for a few days. I worked all day Saturday. I will work all day tomorrow. I don't mind it. I think I need it right now. I need to go into the office. I need to schedule meetings. I need to keep my ships moving, and apparently I also need to figure out if I am going back to Florida.
I miss the sunsets. I miss the acai shops. I miss the sunshine.
I don't miss the job I did while I was there. I don't miss my kids being here.
Someone tell me if it's sunsets for the win, cause I am really confused, and it may cause me to drift away for a while, while I try to figure it out.
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