I think I want to start by saying, this is a good thing.
You guys! I mean...you fucking guys have been very good to me this week. From amazon deliveries to a new highest all time tip in my room, to lots of phone sex on the talktome side. More than that, so much kindness. I can't really begin to express how even though I put the monetary things first, they were NOT at all the best part of any of this.
I am not really an entertainer. I am a do whatever I want, whenever I want girl. Zero fucks given when I am streaming on the "entertainer" side of things. And you guys tolerate me. Holy shitballs, how did I get so lucky.
Forget about the fact that many of you always ask how my mother is. That really means a lot given the platform. I have definitely not been the most fun version of myself the last few months, and I haven't been in the best mood most days, and I am super fucking overtired every day right now, but there is always sunshine in the rain. You guys have been it this week. So much kindness.
It is really challenging to be the face of positivity in turmoil, but you guys have made it a little easier this week.
The updates:
My mom has finally started to make some progress in her rehab, but it is VERY slow. Slow is better than nothing at this point. COVID set her back 45 days and that hurt. My sister and I are tired, and my sister is still a bag of cuntery, so I feel extra tired. My days are pretty much work and then I spend each evening with her. It makes for long days and little streaming time. Let alone any time. Laundry and groceries have been a real fucking hurdle for me. I hate myself a little for not being able to keep up, but I am only one person.
The Taco Tom meets my dad thing...I really want him to have his restaurant open, and permits and contractors have stalled him up, well beyond what COVID did to him last year trying to get open. My dad could help. The double edged sword is that him meeting my dad, pretty much ensures we won't be having many more fun times if any, but I did what I did knowingly. His passion is his restaurant, and I want that for him, for that I want him. And I think you all know I want him. I just can't stand that so many things/people in my world are struggling right now, and I chose to offer help, at a cost to myself. But in doing it, I hope I get to see him happy sooner than later. Kindness always wins. Him having this will make me much happier than me having him would.
I put a deadline on this dreadful house hunting. I was close when my mom had her stroke and then the world stopped. The world can't stop. My goal is start actively start looking again in February, so I can move and whatnot before the busy season at my work. That will give me plenty of time to prep a summer garden.
Anywho...Monday is coming sooner than later. I had planned an evening stream Monday night, but then my dad needs me to stay with my step mom for a bit tomorrow evening, instead of staying with my mom. It's a tricky balance, but someone has to do it.
Have a great fucking week, and I will see you when I can :) xoxo Jenni
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