Figure "it" out, is the top of the list. The problem is, I don't know what it is.
I had a moment today when my streaming kept getting pushed back, that I thought to myself, do I really want to do that anymore? I put so much pressure on myself to always be in a state of motion and earning. I realized this week that I don't really want to do that anymore.
But I have to figure some things out. I had this craft show come up, but I had already committed to going to a friend's kid's birthday party. The idea that this was such a struggle for me is bonkers. Everyone that knows me said, not a chance I would go to the party when I could earn money. The funny thing is, I really felt that way too. I wanted to earn. Except. If the last few years have taught me anything it is that character is more important. I need to do what I said I would do. I said I would go to the party.
In general, though, I haven't felt very well this week. The pressure and stress of the upcoming surgery is getting to me. The responsibilities of my mom in the facility is getting to me. The holidays are getting to me. I know stress eats away at the body. I can't afford that right now. Sometimes streaming takes the stress away, but physically, right now, I don't know that I can be the Jenni you all know and love. I pride myself on being who I am. I don't want to be "on" if that isn't authentic. I am still planning on streaming until my surgery, but it will be a crapshoot what you get.
I am going to change things up in the new year will the side hustles, but mostly because I want to do some things next year to enhance my life. YOLO as someone says. True story.
For Saturday, you can find me streaming in the office. I uploaded a few new clips tonight on CB and qued a ton of content for onlyfans. I hope you all are getting along o.k. It's a tough time of year.
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