Or whatever.
It's been a busy week in Jenni land. Lots of catering and food trucking. Lots of mother duties. And as recently as 5 minutes ago, my 6'5 son just found his way into my room and started doing box jumps on my bed, because it sits 2 feet off the ground. Just another week.
As I was watching the nightly news at my mom's tonight (I don't have cable or an antenna to watch t.v. at my house - which I don't need or want), there was a segment about post covid mental health in schools. Apparently, there was some survey of students and a majority have had moments where they felt "sad or hopeless". I have thoughts about this. Hold on to your trousers.
Fun fact: I have a child who tried to kill himself at the end of his high school years. Maybe I am an anomaly, but I don't feel sadness and or hopelessness. I wake up each morning, and I start a new day. Those words are planted into the minds of today's youth to justify a lack of teaching, molding, & parenting. I can say that, because my son tried to kill himself. Had he been successful in the that act, that would have been my fault. That would have been a lack of parenting on my part that caused him to feel that way. His grandfather asked him, during this time, if he felt "hopeless". I promise you, he never felt hopeful before that question was asked of him. He may have felt "without hope", but not hopeless. No one is ever really hopeless. It is a state of mind, not a place to rest.
He was a youth in today's very confusing world, finding it hard to navigate his thoughts and the world around him. I had him 5150'd. Easily the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. Everyone wants to talk and hug and buy it all away with some bullshit that can be posted on social media for a pat on the back. Think that you can solve it. Nah, you lock him up and get him real help. You utilize clinicians who spend their days doing this type of thing. You consult doctors to see if there is a medicinal solution. But most importantly, you make your child accountable for their actions. You do the crime you do the time. In this case, if you make an attempt on your life, you get treatment, because I just run a food truck, mental health is not my specialty.
My point to all of this is it made me think about myself. Not only do I not feel sadness or hopelessness, but I equally do not feel love, hate, happiness. etc. These are the people you really need to worry about. People who float through their days with no attachment to any of it. Not me. Don't worry about me. I'm just fine. My shoulders are very strong. I am still in the pursuit of happiness. I may not have it, or any emotions in my life today, but I have hope. Hope that the best is yet to come. I had a boss who said, "hope is never a good plan", but you know what...hope is always a good plan, if it is all you have.
Hear is to hoping there is a token windfall this weekend. Hahahaha!
xoxo
Jenni
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