What can I say about today - side hustle wise? You guys are ahhhh-mazing! Thanks for the extra holiday generosity. You don't care about that though. Let's talk about Taco Tom. Why not?
So, a few posts ago, I think I mentioned we had an upset that I didn't really want to get into. I still don't really want to get into that, but feel free to weigh in on what I will go into.
I had a reality check on myself, and the fact that I am 43 years old, and he has been in my life for 18 months now, and it is a lot like ground hog day. I am the type of person to try to lock someone down, but there are some real oddities in his and my situation, and mostly it's a roller coaster, and I don't like roller coasters. I asked him to pick a box. And I gave him choices. a) distant memory box b) good times only box c) semi frequent presence in my life box. He said he didn't know. Then I asked him to marry me, and he said no. He didn't seem to think that was choosing a box, and thought we should carry on as we were. I disagree 100% on that. He did pick a box. I obviously let him know that. I told him that we aren't friends, if I saw him on the street I would say hello, but beyond that, I was done with this. Life is too short to carry on indefinitely the way we had been. There is most certainly someone else out there better suited for me, if it isn't him, in the long term. I told him, if it didn't end in a plan, I didn't see the point anymore.
I doubt I actually wanted to get married, but...I did want him to pick, and he did. I have no ill will towards him about that. I feel no level of rejection over it. But today...he is testing my patience.
If you are on my onlyfans, you would have seen the "how to send me a dick pic post". Saturday morning, he sends me a pic of his dick. That wasn't something we did in our 18 months, and quite honestly, is not the thing I like about him most, so I wasn't impressed by this gesture. I waited 15 hours to respond, and sent back the kale dick instructional.
Yesterday, he CALLED me and asked me to participate in a charity event, that a) I wasn't invited to participate in and b) he didn't even have appropriate event into to give to me. The closest this came to a personal convo was him saying that he would work in my truck with me to save labor, and I declined, and he said "you don't want me in your truck", and I said "I asked you to marry me, of course I want you in my truck". His calling me was a douche move in my opinion. What it looks like to me is that I have rejected the other efforts he has made to engage me, but HE KNOWS that I won't turn down a charity event. An event that it would only be he and I working at.
I told him I would do it, because I do most events for this particular organization, that I am asked to do, but I most likely will send staff out to work it, instead of myself, because I think there need to be boundaries.
Here is the message I want to convey in this. It isn't flattery to want me after you had me. It really isn't. IMO it is gross actually. It isn't attractive to not be man enough to own your wants/feelings about me and instead be passive aggressive. I had so much respect for this until this last week. A part of me wants to explain this to him, but another whole part of me could give a fuck less.
Thoughts?
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