Oh my God, I am officially crawling out of my skin. I need an airplane ride. I need a sunset on the beach. I don't know what happened, but about 2 hours ago, i just snapped.
I was sitting in my house, just hanging...I just got super claustrophobic, like if I don't get out of town asap, I am going to explode. And not in the wet and wonderful way that you see me do it on chaturbate. Like the walking dead version that is not so sexy.
Do you ever have these moments, or is it just me? Where you are in the middle of something and your brain tells you to stop and ask yourself what the fuck you are doing. This has happened to me a few times in my life, and tonight was one of them. I won't go into what I was doing when I had the thought, but I had the "what the fuck" thought, then I thought a 30 minute shower would wipe it off of me, so I did that. I get out. I become angry. Then I just get super claustrophobic and want to just itch out of my skin.
Like, what the fuck am I doing in my life? And why the fuck am I doing it? Jesus take the wheel.
--------
I've been hitting the gym daily. Surprising it is excellent for sexual frustration and possibly overall wellness. I have been doing about 5 miles on whatever piece of equipment strikes me and then I swim laps for 30 minutes. That is my real jam. I will be interested to see if I can keep that up for 30 days, what the results will be.
My Dr. put me on high blood pressure medicine because I thought I was having a heart attack a few weeks ago. Had an EKG and some blood panels and stuff too. People think I have a lot of stress in my life. I think I manage my shit just fine.
In other news, I actually went out on Friday night and hung out with some friends. That was nice. It has been a while since I went anywhere social. Yesterday, I went on a jeep ride with my young friend, who calls me his milf, lol. Perfect fucking weather for a jeep ride.
My manager put in her 2 weeks notice. The driver I had hired, failed his drug test. I have to go back into the full time event and catering world as a body - not just at the helm - in 2 weeks.
My son goes back to court in 2 weeks for his arrest last month. Can't wait to see how that plays out.
And I want is to get on a fucking airplane and sit on the beach.
--------
Is it COVID? Am I freaking out because I sense another shutdown. My sources tell me that is a real possibility because the regular flu is coming too, and their are too many similar symptoms and it is going to be ridiculous discerning what is what.
댓글