Life

Always has a way of fucking you - or you can fuck it. I am going to choose the 2nd this time.

I came home for a couple of days, and had to show up in town to work, for a meeting or two this morning. Big mistake.

My company does it's annual reviews the last week of February, and since I wouldn't be back home for this...I got mine today. Big companies always have a way of...shenanigans, if you will. Fucking, bullshit shenanigans.

Let me start by saying, I am so happy to be home, even just for a few days. I had friends over last night. Spent the day with my kids today, after my meetings, was planning on streaming some O's tonight, but that last part didn't happen.

Forgive me while I contemplate life for a while. I relocated. I left my kids. I left my home. I left my friends. Because I was promised something upon my return, that I was told today, I will not be getting upon my return. I said, rather calmly, "what?" Then I said, rather slowly, so I made sure my boss heard me "are you fucking kidding me?" I am just stunned really, so the streaming didn't happen tonight, while I just soak in this bullshit and work on how I will move past it.

I'm just going through a little struggle right now - and I don't want it to effect my chaturbate time, but I think, the time may be now, to really like...to fuck them, and the way for me to do that, is to go out on my own. I make so much money for the company that I work for. I built a model for mobile operations that they have now replicated 4 times, in 5 cities across the country. I've done my job so well, that no one even knows what I do, so what will they do without me? I used to care that all of my hard work would be ruined, if I wasn't there to oversee it. I used to be worried that the reputation I have in the city I live would be tarnished, if I walked away. I don't care anymore. It will never be a negative reflection of my efforts or hard work, it will only ever be an effort of a company that failed one of their key players, and opened the door for me to leave.

There loss.

I feel like that has been the trend for the year. Fuck taco tom for being a weirdo. His loss. Fuck my dad for never knowing how to be a dad. His loss. Fuck my son, at one point for not wanting to miss a day of school to fly to see me, at the beach. His loss. Though we did work that one out - never truly fuck my son. And fuckity fuck my job, for trying to make as much money off of my efforts as possible, without having to follow through on their promise and commitment to me. 100% fuck the people who fuck themselves by not giving me the respect I have given them. Life is too short. None of us are getting any younger.