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It's my birthday month! What does this mean? Not much. Hahaha. Another day, another year, another trip around the sun.

I really wish last month wouldn't have gone the way it did. But it did. It is carrying over into this month. So nothing special going on here.

In fact, I should actually be able to be online tomorrow morning, but I have felt so bad today, it won't be much. I didn't even get out of my jammies today. Physically, mentally, emotionally, I am exhausted. I will show up though. Bright side - I did get that catalytic converter replaced though. Back to trucking next week, once the generator gets squared away.

**UPDATE** 8:10 a.m. - Apparently school was canceled for my son this morning. No naked streaming for Jenni today, but I will be online for chat and chill.

As for the actual birthday, I will be starting it out working a 1 a.m. spot in the food truck. I am a glutton for punishment like that. I control what I do, and I just couldn't say no to that. I will not. I repeat, I will not, sleep in my office on my birthday though.

I've been thinking a lot the last few days about what I really want for the rest of my life. I have worked non-stop to be where I am today. Now it just feels wasted. If I have to live the life that is in front of me now. how can I spin it to something I like? I want what I wanted before my son moved in. I want what I wanted before my mom went home. I want a house in the middle of nowhere. A basset hound named Bernie. A rose garden. I can't have any of that now. Forgive me while I feel that my dreams have been shattered. I have 11 days until I have to resign my new lease. A 15-month lease. Can you see the despair in my words?

Why? You may ask. It would be selfish. It would be selfish to make my son drive an hour to work and school. It would be selfish to move so far from my mom when there is no one close by to care for her. Taco Tom says, "it won't be forever". I say, "it may as well be".

My suggestion to all of you, unfollow me. It just seems like dark times these days and no one wants to be a part of that.